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Post by Plum on Nov 19, 2019 15:25:25 GMT 1
Getting together with my friends on the 14th of next month though, which is exciting. Trying to figure out what we're going to do, probably lot's of different board games. Working on a short 2-3 shot D&D campaign. Excited that the new Eberron book is finally officially coming out. Awesome! I'd love to play a steampunk setting but the closest I'll get for a while is running the artificer in our Forgotten Realms games. Mad Mage will be running for another year I'd guess, and our Sword Coast campaign will be followed by a Greek mythology campaign, so it'll be a looong time before we can squeeze in Eberron. And Blades in the Dark and Pathfinder 2 are still sitting on the shelf waiting to be given their time in the sun... so much to do, so little time
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Nov 20, 2019 4:32:18 GMT 1
Well, I have a start on the job search... it sounds favorable, but nothing is set in stone.
After I met with the job recruiter, I met SPH for lunch before heading west again and going to work.
About halfway home, my Low Tire Pressure light came on, which is certainly not something I need right now... despite having the tires re-inflated, after I got out of work, the light was back on again.
So, now we go for Day Two of getting up before the sun, caffeinating and hoping for the best. Thankfully, the auto repair shop has free coffee, because otherwise I'm out. I just need free breakfast now.
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Post by Plum on Nov 20, 2019 10:29:00 GMT 1
About halfway home, my Low Tire Pressure light came on, which is certainly not something I need right now... despite having the tires re-inflated, after I got out of work, the light was back on again. I hate car problems! They're always such a pain in the butt to deal with. When I first got a car around the year 2000, my dad (a former mechanic) was able to fix almost everything that went wrong with it. With more modern cars there's very little he can do though so it requires arranging a day off work to get it sorted out and is always expensive. The price of progress Fingers crossed for your job search! I hope you get something quickly and manage to score a cool employee number again
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Nov 23, 2019 4:28:14 GMT 1
My week has been such that I'm sitting here, like, "What did I do on Monday?"
Oh... right... I bought groceries Monday night.
Tuesday was the drive to Albany (and free coffee)
Wednesday morning was getting the car fixed... (how do you work a Keurig?) At some point, I managed to run over a nail... different kind of nail than before, but it's the second time I got a nail in my tire this year. And since it was in the tread this time, it couldn't be repaired, SO... two new tires. Thrilled.
Thursday morning, I had a Skype interview with another job recruiter. (I need my coffeemaker...) She has a definite job, assuming they can wait for me until January. But I had to wake up early, dress appropriately, position the computer to make it less obvious that I was sitting on my bed, and skip breakfast because I really didn't have the time.
So this morning, I slept as late as I could manage. I couldn't sleep as peacefully as I wanted, because someone insisted on waking me up at odd hours... *glares at Demon*
SPH and I, each to a different degree.. we've been trying to light a fire under yet another job recruiter. Today I joked, "maybe his coffee hasn't kicked in... and it's after 9 am, just not in California... and, maybe someone released a swarm of bees, and he had to contain them before calling me..." And then the dude called me, after I already said to SPH that I wasn't going to call him because it was too late in my morning. I might go with his offer, because it has the potential to pay the most, and with my previous experience, I might be able to negotiate something closer to the max pay rate. Also it keeps me at home for the whole week, whereas one of the offers had me staying in a hotel for the weekdays and then home on the the weekend, which sounds exciting and fun for me because I enjoy visiting new places, but that sooty ball of fluff gets lonely so I'm better off if I don't leave him alone during the week. The other recruiter has "something coming down the line," but as such, it's not a position looking to be filled too soon and therefore I don't have much information on it.
Of course, I remind myself that even if these jobs aren't "perfect," if I land one of them, it's a start, it's keeping my income flowing and keeping my bills paid.
Then when I get things paid down,.. because I have a loan that I can pay off in 4 months instead of the 5 months that are left, and I now have $300+ to pay off for the tires, interest free if I can do it in 6 months... I have a wish list that includes a Switch, a new bed (I abhor this mattress and it's only a year old, plus I miss my underbed drawers so I want a new foundation), and a new pair of boots if the leather is too worn to just get them retreaded. But one thing at a time... I have to finish the move and get settled in.
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Nov 24, 2019 15:40:45 GMT 1
I woke up this morning and there's a rabbit in my apartment... What do I feed it? I'm not prepared for this level of responsibility!
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Post by Southpaw Hare on Nov 25, 2019 6:15:55 GMT 1
Things required by a Southpaw Hare:
- Carrots (I actually do eat quite a lot of these, as my species would imply)
- Coffee
- Super Smash Bros.
I can probably subsist on these things for a fairly long time.
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Nov 25, 2019 16:33:15 GMT 1
Things required by a Southpaw Hare:
- Carrots (I actually do eat quite a lot of these, as my species would imply)
- Coffee
- Super Smash Bros.
I can probably subsist on these things for a fairly long time.
1. I had frozen carrots in the freezer... I decided to be lazier, the last time I made curry. 2. In lieu of a coffeemaker, being within walking distance from Dunkin worked out well. 3. Ah, yes... So as you can guess, I finally had SPH in the apartment. Little by little, I worked to clean, but between just living here and the cat, things like dishes and cleaning the floors had to be left for the last minute. But I had stuff on the floor in bags that I hadn't figured out what to do with it, and I had already started putting things in the closet to get them out of the way. I had to choose, though, and I managed to clean the stove, do some dishes, and sweep the kitchen and living space floors. I hadn't showered, hadn't eaten until about 2 in the afternoon, and hadn't gotten out of my pajamas until sometime before he arrived. He didn't give me an estimated time for when he'd arrive, so around 3 o'clock, I had it in my mind he would be here within the hour. After 4 pm, I was thinking he'd be here, like at any time he'd show up. He wasn't here until after 5, and in spite of constantly trying to improve the state of this place, I wasn't done and I was stressed out from it, from not knowing where he was,... I was a mess. I went out to greet him, but all I could think was that he'd take one look at the place and be done with me. I think I wanted to complain that he hadn't given me an ETA, but I didn't do so, probably because some part of me was grateful for having the little bit of extra time just to try and make the place more decent. I could hear the stress in my voice, the anger, and even the resigning tone because giving up was about all I had left at that point. "What do you want to do?" "Set fire to the place." "Want to hook up the Switch?" So we did. I was still in "work mode" somewhat, and think I had anticipated that we'd have started packing, or going through things, or... something, anything but playing video games. But getting knocked airborne and being unable to recover a few times in Smash, I was a little bit back to being myself. We went out for dinner after that, then came back to the apartment and watched some video game streaming as I gradually passed out. I woke up before him the next morning, and since I knew that getting back to sleep would be futile for me, I took my shower and did some dishes. Eventually he woke up, and we decided on Dunkin for breakfast, so we walked the short distance and got something to eat. We came back, and I packed up a few things while he loaded his car. I spent the rest of the day watching YouTube and considering the next steps to be taken. There's still much to be done, but this weekend has definitely lifted some of the weight off my shoulders, and I'm quite thankful for that.
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Post by Plum on Nov 27, 2019 13:33:02 GMT 1
Exciting times! It sounds trite but you've got to just take it one day at a time and keep moving forward You've already done the hardest part which is to get moving in the first place - most people fail at that first hurdle!
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Nov 29, 2019 6:29:01 GMT 1
Today was 'Murican Thanksgiving... followed by Retail Death Match.
I had to work.
Last night I went to the grocery store... night before Thanksgiving, if the ingredient you're looking for is not on the shelf, it's clearly because the minimum wage stockboys knew you were coming, and decided to deprive just you of that item. (I've worked for the store I was shopping at, and people have acted like the store being out of chocolate pudding (yes, it was chocolate pudding) meant that they clearly hadn't anticipated the needs of the customers) Thankfully, the trip was rather incident-free, in fact people were quite helpful to their fellow shoppers. But then again, that was last night.. I shudder to think of what it was like before the store closed mid-day for the holiday.
Anyway... so there's a post-Thanksgiving get-together this weekend, and knowing the distance, I figured I'd stick to some kind of baked good, either muffins or cookies.
But a Facebook post popped up, showing ambrosia salad... okay, haven't had that in a while, but wait - it's similar to that one with the acini de pepe... which was a "similar recipe" on the webpage with the ambrosia recipe. So now, I'm craving that one, "frog eye salad." Then with SPH's mention of carrots, I thought about making carrot raisin salad, which I quite enjoy (church potlucks, someone makes it with just carrots, raisins and mayo... Dinosaur Barbecue adds cinnamon, which is pretty good). But these are cold things which require time to chill or flavor through...
yolo.
I got all the ingredients. We're making cookie, muffins, frog eye salad, and carrot raisin salad.
Tonight I made one batch of the muffins, and I'm seriously thinking I got in over my head for time.
But you know what? I said that if I didn't make something, I wasn't going to bring it, which is my way of basically saying, "I acknowledge that I might have gotten in over my head, and I'm going to do my best but I'm not going to let it bother me if I fail." So I'm going to be proud of whatever I manage to accomplish. Besides, whatever I don't make before the weekend, I can make later, it's just a matter of when. For example, I have a family Christmas party coming up next month... honestly, they just want to see my face, so I could surprise them with food and a +1 before I head east.
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Dec 2, 2019 7:15:53 GMT 1
So Friday night, I made the other batch of muffins, along with the frog eye salad. I'm not sure if I could have managed my time any better than I did, because by the time I got done making both of those, the idea of preparing carrots for the carrot raisin salad was rather grating to me, and... I don't know, I just didn't feel like preparing the cookie dough that night, even though my intention was to bake it while I was getting ready Saturday morning.
To be honest, I was still dealing with a phone interview from Wednesday, which was coupled with an upcoming more personal issue, and the "cooking as therapy" mindset was definitely enticing at that point. However, too many things sounded good to me, and I was aware I was getting in over my head before it was far more obvious that I had done so.
Friday night, after I had finished the cooking,... I had spent the day feeling lonely, or at least that's the only word that came to mind. I hadn't heard from SPH all day, but I also hadn't messaged him, either,... and the night before I was kinda interrupting something he was doing, so I didn't really want to bother him for a second night,... but I knew that if I didn't hear from him, it was as much his fault for not saying anything as much as it was my fault for not trying to even initiate a conversation, so I would have no reason to complain. So I said hi... and then asked if I was taking him away from anything, to which he said that RPG night was wrapping up. Whelp... of course, he was somewhat busy. So we were talking about the next day, to which he said I'd want to be there by 11, and I pointed out I'd have to be on the road by 8 to make it there around 10:30.
So when I woke up around 7:30, followed by the cal walking up my back and parking near my shoulder blades, I decided to stay in bed for about another 10 minutes before getting out of bed to take a shower.
I still hadn't even packed an overnight bag yet...
So I packed up food stuff, thinking, "well, I could maybe make the other two things at the apartment afterwards," so I put the carrots in the cooler bag with the frog eye salad... and the butter for making the cookies in the cooler bag as well. Then I was looking at the recipe for the cookies, and it seemed like too many dry ingredients would have to be hauled there and back, and I was like, "nope, forget it, I won't make the cookie." I grabbed my can opener for the cans of jellied cranberry sauce I decided to bring as well, which was definitely the least amount of prep work for anything I was bringing... oh, and I brought a lidded container to serve the sauce in, because I'm not entirely a dummy, I prepared for having some left over.
I stepped out of the apartment... I forgot to pack something to wear while I'm sleeping. Came back in the apartment, grabbed a nightgown, stepped out of the apartment... I forgot to pack socks... entered the apartment, grabbed socks so I wasn't wearing the same pair two days in a row, left the apartment, headed down the stairs, left the building... I forgot a big spoon to mix in the last two ingredients to the frog eye salad and then to use to serve it. Well... forget it, I'm not going back inside, so I sent a message to SPH.
Sat in the car, ordered by coffee, then drove to pick it up... two cars ahead of me, someone was going back and forth with their order, and the cars ahead of them kept clearing out. Ugh... when I was finally at the window to pick up my order, I engaged the girl for a bit, telling her that that's why I use the app to order, even though my order was fairly simple. So then she was telling me about the issues that one car was having, that they wanted to know which drink was which, but there were stickers on each cup to say what went into each... I could tell she was relieved to vent about that.
The drive was smooth sailing, and I arrived around noon with no f*cks given.. except, I knew the ordeal I had to get everything from the apartment to the car, and while I wasn't carrying my overnight bag to the event, I still needed help. So.. I sent a message to SPH.... and I didn't wait too long, but I noticed it wasn't getting read. I'm not sure how long I would have been waiting, but I didn't give up because of impatience, I gave up waiting because some part of me just knew not to wait. So... I carried everything from the car into the building where the event was, and with my hands full, I managed to get the attention of someone else who helped me with the door... and then I had SPH's attention.
My stress was snowballing... when I mentioned to SPH that I had messaged him to ask for help, I could hear my tone of voice, and in the back of my head I was trying to figure out if that was really me who said that to him. Then I was getting stuff out and putting my food on the tables... I went to open one of the cans of cranberry sauce, and in the process of moving the lid, I sliced my finger. I dropped the can in the container and ran for the sink, calling to SPH for help, and I don't remember what he was doing because all I could remember was ouch, I just sliced my finger, it's bleeding kinda quickly, and I need to run it under water to clean out the wound before I do anything else. After I tightly wrapped a paper towel around it, and someone else had started to help me with the cranberry sauce, SPH asked what I needed.
It was feeling less like it was my day, like the week was just getting worse as time went on.
I don't know...
What I DO know is that I needed to vent... the more I talked about everything, to whoever would listen, the better my day seemed to get. And, it wasn't up to SPH to pick up the balls I dropped from trying to juggle so much; some things needed to just be dropped, and some of those things were fine if other people picked them up. I mean, I sliced my finger because I wasn't being as careful as I should have been, obviously, and I could have resumed the task after taking care of myself. And, it's really hard to differentiate between two shoulder buttons on a game controller when you have a bandage on your finger, let me tell you.. And.. what happens after you get wounded or injured somehow? You get really mindful of how much you actually use that part of you that got injured.
By the end of the night, my frog eye salad was getting rave reviews, the muffins were more than half gone,... and I was curled up next to the guy who cleaned up the kitchen, made me breakfast the next day, and played the first chapter of King's Quest for me while going along with my decisions. Just before I left, he brushed the snow off my car, before I drove home in a snowstorm. Oh yes, if I hadn't learned a lesson in being patient and being careful and what not prior to leaving, I definitely learned it on the way home. SPH does a lot for me, and I was trying to do a lot but again, he's not responsible if I try to do too much and fall short somehow, that's still on me.
So I left a five-pound bag of carrots in the Hare's fridge. I seriously was going to make carrot raisin salad... but I know that he's more likely to get the carrots eaten than I am.
That's not even all the memorable moments from the weekend...
But I know I'm riding the high from just having a fun weekend, coupled with an adrenaline spike, I'm sure, from that treacherous drive home, so right now I'm feeling like, "this weekend was exactly what I needed!" No, I should try not to stress myself out so much in the first place, during an already stressful time. Although, it did still help, and I like knowing I made something that people really enjoyed (why is there still cranberry sauce?).
I really hate saying I'm a perfectionist, knowing SPH is one in his own way... but damn it if it didn't bother me to look at the bowl of frog eye salad and see an area that hadn't been mixed all that well....
Okay, I need to chill... going to sleep, now. Nite nite!
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Post by Plum on Dec 2, 2019 11:41:44 GMT 1
That sounds like a fun weekend! I'm trying to figure out if frog eye salad is a main, a side or a dessert (I googled some pictures and it had marshmellows, but it's a pasta dish?)
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Post by Southpaw Hare on Dec 2, 2019 14:20:15 GMT 1
That sounds like a fun weekend! I'm trying to figure out if frog eye salad is a main, a side or a dessert (I googled some pictures and it had marshmellows, but it's a pasta dish?) It's definitely a dessert. The "pasta" is made of such small bits that it really makes it feel like more of a pudding. Other than that, it has oranges, pineapple, and coconut, so think of the Pina Colata Smoothies from Orange Julius.
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Dec 5, 2019 3:37:51 GMT 1
Ah, I can't wait for Friday! ^_^
There's not much I can really say about it right now, though... I just need to get my excitement out in a fairly neutral space.
Edit: I just checked through everything, and I'm not allowed to take or share pictures or discuss any details in public... I might try to sneak some pics, because I'll be someplace quite familiar to me, but otherwise I'll discuss this later.
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Dec 6, 2019 21:43:27 GMT 1
2:30 call time... Parked the car, but with the weather, there's no way I'm walking to the location. Should have taken an Uber anyway, but took one from the parking garage. We can afford it... Walk in, and glance around... They've done well with decoration... I'm directed to a room that still has a sign for my old employer next to the door. I chuckled to myself. 3:42 pm I've filled out employment paperwork, and my outfit has been reviewed. I have to lose the black cardigan, but that's fine. I raided the snack table, eating a mini muffin while grabbing a granola bar and Rice Krispies treat before getting coffee. And we wait... 4:45 pm Bag and headphone check. Bag passes because no logos. Pink headphones might be too bright and shiny. Informed that we're not allowed to have cell phones "on," because brightness or whatever is on screen could be distracting. However, we're allowed to listen to music... Sometime after 5 pm... Went to the bathroom, then raided the snack table again for a cookie, brownie bite, and an apple. The apple probably weighed a pound! There were no smaller apples... Halfway through eating the apple, they started setting up a table with foil chafing dishes for dinner, which is going to be beef, salad, corn, rolls... that's about all I know so far. They just asked around to see who was vegan/vegetarian. Still waiting for the actual reason I'm getting paid to be here, but no worries. 6:04 pm The pearl pink headphones have passed and are approved. Waiting on dinner, and... stuff and things... 6:44 pm Y. R. P. In position.. It's showtime, girls! 7:04 pm Just kidding! That was practice. Time for dinner, so we're back in the holding room while they review things so far. 7:50 pm Back downstairs... I didn't finish my shepherds pie and salad, but I'm certainly going to burn off the calories going up and down the stairs. Let's just say, the escalators are off limits... Sometime after 9 pm... Stuff is getting moved around... I'm sitting for now. Been having some insane ad-lib conversations during takes. 10:43 pm Still at it.. my feet hurt a bit, but I was lucky enough to get a spot near some chairs, and a power outlet. My phone battery went under 40 percent, I'm just charging it to be on the safe side. I am in possession of a few forbidden snaps... Lousy quality, but whatever. 11:28 pm I'm not needed in my position, so I'm playing on my phone. I'm at a 99 percent charge, so I'll probably take it off the charger soon. And I've been here long enough to get OVERTIME PAY! Oh, this is going to be one sweet check... Worth it! Saturday, 12:03 am Nope, still here... Still not needed, necessarily, but still here, doing nothing and earning that bread. 1:05 am Some people have been released, but their call time was an hour before mine. Excused myself for a bit, kept thinking they'd end things for the day if I stepped away, but nope... thank goodness, because I left my laptop downstairs, and had to go all the way upstairs... Didn't exactly raid the downstairs snack table, per se, but they did have better stuff. I took some bunny grahams, which I'm saving for later. 1:44 am THAT'S A WRAP! Loud cheering could be heard echoing through this place... I could take the escalator back to the holding room, so I did. 2 am Waiting in a long, slow-moving line to get paperwork signed off before heading out. Still worth it! Definitely worth the pay. Would I do it all over again? Maybe as a one-shot. It wasn't a lot of strenuous work, but I'm tired... I want to go home. It was a good experience, and quite a bit of fun!
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Post by Plum on Dec 8, 2019 19:44:50 GMT 1
Is that a common experience for (what I assume is) extra work?
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Dec 9, 2019 1:44:22 GMT 1
For... shooting a movie? Seems that way.
Yes, I landed a background extra role! Filming wraps this week, and I'll let you know more when I can!
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Post by lemmingrad on Dec 11, 2019 20:15:35 GMT 1
So, during a snowstorm, instead of taking my boss' recommendation of staying at a hotel, I decided to try driving on the highway to home. And well, the same spot I got that speeding ticket earlier, I instead slid over some snow trying to get into the right lane, and slid into a ditch.
So, got a ticket for Careless Driving, which means I've been excluded on the insurance policy. So my driving is rather limited, only borrowed and rental cars.
On the fun side, because my cousin and I work at my aunt's hot tub store, we decided to have a Christmas potluck hot tub party at the store, making sure to clean up after ourselves of course.
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Post by Plum on Dec 11, 2019 23:02:13 GMT 1
That sucks The ticket, I mean. The hot-tub potluck sounds awesome, even if I have no idea what it means
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Post by lemmingrad on Dec 12, 2019 14:35:24 GMT 1
That sucks The ticket, I mean. The hot-tub potluck sounds awesome, even if I have no idea what it means Just a potluck (everyone contributes food) and hang out in the store floor hot tubs. One of my American friend brought up bison ground beef, so another friend made burger patties of them. Bison beef is pretty interesting, not sure how to describe it besides quite juicy.
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Post by Plum on Dec 12, 2019 16:53:29 GMT 1
Oh I see! I've only ever known 'pot luck' to mean 'pick something at random', not as an event. Which I guess makes sense in this context, given that everyone takes some random food along In my head a hot tub potluck was people picking a hot tub at random
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Post by lemmingrad on Dec 13, 2019 2:38:43 GMT 1
Oh I see! I've only ever known 'pot luck' to mean 'pick something at random', not as an event. Which I guess makes sense in this context, given that everyone takes some random food along In my head a hot tub potluck was people picking a hot tub at random Well, the term potluck, has its origins from Pacific Northwest indigenous tribes, which was a communal sharing of food. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potluck
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Post by scymrian on Dec 20, 2019 14:49:11 GMT 1
Who is out here making goals for 2020? (I personally don't care for the term "resolutions," but you do you.)
Since the first goal I came up with is related to jiu-jitsu competition - I want to compete in 4 no-gi tournaments this year - I decided to buy a little pocket planner to help facilitate it. Now I can write down when and where the tournaments I could feasibly attend are (I don't drive, so I make it a point not to plan on attending anything I can't get to without using mostly public transportation) - and I decided to throw my other goals in the planner as well!
1. Since I want to get better at grappling, and compete, four no-gi tournaments. I'm already planning on my first in Philadelphia at the end of January, but I'm going to be keeping an eye open for other reachable and interesting ones. 2. Since I want to get in better shape - hit under 20% body fat (estimated) by the end of 2020. This might be too modest (too easy to attain), but I think it's fine. I found a bioelectric impedance device that has good long-form reviews online showing it to have a nice ratio of accuracy:ease of use (body fat estimation is so wild when you start looking into it), so I'll be obtaining one of those and using it for my measurements. 3. Since Pokerstars is finally live in Pennsylvania, and I've always wanted to dabble in poker, I decided to set a modest hands-played goal. A single table online usually runs between 50-100 hands an hour (depending), so I figure if I play five days a week on average, 50 weeks of the year on average, and don't want to spend too much time on it, but enough that it feels like intentional practice (my real goal), that 25,000 hands in the year is a modest, achievable goal. That's enough to get intentional practice and learn something about myself, which is good for someone who is essentially a beginner (one who has been interested for a long time, but a beginner nonetheless). There's a financial subgoal here of "don't embarrass myself" which is open to interpretation, but I'm read on bankroll management so I think "not going crazy" will be simple enough.
That's three goals - compete, get in better shape, and practice poker - worded quantifiably. Each modest and attainable, but still requiring effort. You got anything?
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Dec 20, 2019 16:38:56 GMT 1
My goal for 2020 and the time being is still the move to Albany. Things have been going slow on that, still trying to get a job, but we're slowly making things disappear from my apartment all the same.
I hate to be a cliche, but I do want to make weight loss a goal for next year as well. I need to cut back on sugar as a whole... mainly the processed stuff, but as you can get addicted to it, it will be a matter of stepping down gradually so I don't binge on it later. And I need to get more physical, because the hill near Southpaw's place and the three flights of stairs at work that I have to climb after an evacuation... I'm out of shape. It's easy to walk flat surfaces, though.
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Post by Bomber678 on Dec 20, 2019 17:03:08 GMT 1
My goal is the same as last year's: be less of a useless piece of shit. I'm much closer to achieving it this time though.
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Post by Southpaw Hare on Dec 21, 2019 6:48:23 GMT 1
I've accomplished a ton of goals this last year. I have a job that seems like it will finally last, I've reached a good weight and level of fitness, gotten super good at Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and gotten a bunch of characters to Elite level online, and, of course, I have a relationship with a very awesome woman that some of you may have seen around here on occasion.
I honestly can't think of much else I want to achieve right now. I'm pretty happy right now, and it's really more about maintenance at this point. I need to continue to work on my job, maintain my health, never stop playing Smash Bros., and continue to explore my relationship with Luna. I think this next year is just going to be more of those things.
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Dec 26, 2019 7:32:46 GMT 1
Today was Christmas... Merry Christmas to all who celebrated, Happy Holidays all the same!
Work was so slow yesterday that the last 120 pages or so of Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire was not enough, and I spent the last part of the workday being somewhat bored. I had my forbidden phone in my pocket, and was sitting in a remote corner of the room for a number of reasons... I was reclining in my chair when one of the team leads came over and asked if I was sleeping, to which I said that I wasn't. "Well if I was over here, I would be."
Started reading Order Of The Phoenix today... yes, I had to work on Christmas. There seemed to be more calls towards the end of the day, but there were barely any calls at all. I managed to read about 170 pages. You can tell it's the first time I've read the books, because I have some telltale creases in the spine of GoF now, and one or two so far in OotP.
I really haven't been listening to Christmas music at all this month, and my stocking is the only decoration I've managed to put up. With having to work, I couldn't take up my brother's offer to spend any part of the day at his house, so aside from being around coworkers, my day felt rather... lonely. It didn't help, having to process the occasional call to family members and loved ones today.
I was thinking back on this... especially since a friend had mentioned that tonight is a great night for Asian food, because it reminded me of the time when my ex fiance (who's Jewish) and I went out for Chinese buffet one Christmas, just because.
I have a tree.. I remembered that after Mom passed in 2014, I didn't have a Christmas tree that year because of transitioning and moving to NJ. In 2015, I bought the tree and decorated it, and I think that's when the ex and I went out to eat.
in 2016, I was broke and fiance-less, and I spent Christmas with my friend who had taken me in and let me stay on her couch for a while. I severed my final ties to her this year, my only regrets being that I didn't do it sooner. The next Christmas was spent with another friend before I moved out of his house, only to move back in and crash on the couch in time for the Christmas after that.
And now this Christmas, I live alone, and being that I'm employed (and as Southpaw pointed out, the fact that Christmas is midweek), I'm rather tethered to my location, whereas I was between jobs in 2014 I could also be between locations on a whim. So really, in a sense it's the first Christmas since Mom passed that I've been alone... or, more lonely? I don't know. It's just been hitting me a little harder that I want to be around people today, that I want a nice dinner with ham or something.
But... yeah, tree... I have a tree.. it's in storage, and I've only put it up once, and that was in 2015, and here it is 2019 and I don't really have room for a tree. Also, it would have been more effort to get it up to the second floor by myself, on the stairs.... and then pack it up and send it down the stairs (mind the landing!) to move out of here.
And then OotP... perhaps it's just a common emotion, but I can understand what Harry is going through in his bitter moments, when he's ranting... and even when he's just in his own head, when he starts to think that his friends don't care, or when he's upset because they're happy and doing okay and no one seems to have checked in on him to see how he was doing, when he went through some sh*t that no one should even have to go through... yeah, I get it. And reading stuff that says the mind will rewire itself to favor negative stuff, so it's better to think positive thoughts, what do? Because sometimes, the effort to try to remind yourself that your mind is playing tricks on you, that a situation is okay even when your mind says it's not,... telling yourself the positive stuff feels like you're lying to yourself sometimes. And I hate that feeling, because it's not always there... so when things are bad after being good, it's like I must have been ignoring something and caught up in the bliss... but when things are good after the mind has said otherwise, it's like reminding myself it was all in my head. I hate that feeling because I remember being happy before Mom passed, but then I remember being happy as I processed my grief for her because I had the ex fiance,... and then I lost so much in a short time in 2016, that it was a reminder that Mom was gone and I was without any kind of safety net in my life...
But, I look back and question why I was happy with my ex fiance, and sometimes I wonder if I just didn't want to feel like I had no one, if that was the same reason why I held on to the one friend for so long (because I wanted to tell myself I had more friends). But I think the difference between then and now is, I ignored that I was being used because it felt like I was needed. Now, I'm not being used...
Eh, it kinda reminds me of the novel She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. I kinda borrowed a copy of it while in summer school and read it to pass the time. From what I recall, it took some lousy life experiences before she just accepted things, and then she found the right partner. And I know I haven't been the easiest girlfriend to deal with... maybe once things settle down after I'm in Albany, perhaps I should look into seeing a therapist, though I don't know what they'll do for me. I feel like I just have to keep reminding myself of what's there, and ignore all those thoughts that have been borne of emotional trauma.
Because, I'm not alone this Christmas, not really... I'm just by myself in the apartment, with the cat. I couldn't take up my brother's offer to spend Christmas, but it was there. And I have a boyfriend, who got presents from me last weekend, and will get one more this weekend. Plus, we're going to an extended family party over the weekend, and getting ramen at some point.
*glances at the cat( You know... YOU'RE the reason why Santa didn't stop last night... you were supposed to be asleep...
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Post by Plum on Jan 6, 2020 11:17:21 GMT 1
Ugh, Mondays
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Post by Plum on Jan 8, 2020 12:26:23 GMT 1
Phew, stressful day yesterday! I managed to really, really piss my boss off by missing one of his meetings - like, he was fuming. I'm a software architect and I'd realised that the piece of work that I'm due to hand over today had a big flaw in it so I was in full panic mode trying to figure out how to fix it. In the middle of that, I had a meeting reminder pop up for a team meeting and decided that I just didn't have time for it... without actually clearing it with my boss first. As I said, I was in full panic mode, so I wasn't thinking particularly clearly. I heard that he was really angry about me missing it and once I'd calmed down a bit (a couple of hours later!) I figured I needed to fix that so I ate humble pie and went and apologised for acting unprofessionally. We talked through the whole situation and he accepted my apology - turns out that people have skipped his meetings before without letting him know and it's a real trigger point. Came out of the meeting (it was serious enough that we went to a private meeting room for the discussion) feeling much better, both about not having my boss mad at me and also about the work I needed to do to fix the mess that started this whole thing. Plus he was visibly a lot calmer so clearly the whole situation had been festering in his mind - I'm very glad I hadn't let him go home without me speaking to him first.
Got home, logged on and spent a couple of hours correcting the problem, then a couple of hours just reading a trashy novel and eating junk food while mentally boxing the day up and putting it on a brain shelf. In hindsight, it wasn't such a difficult problem to solve and the whole thing was an irrational overreaction on my part.
TIL: When I f*ck up, I tend to overreact; I need to calm myself down before I make things worse. Also, swallow my pride and apologise before things have a chance to fester.
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Luna
Member
Posts: 109
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Post by Luna on Jan 9, 2020 4:14:51 GMT 1
So we've been graphing my weight loss, and I've been cutting back on my sugar.
So far for the month? Year? Decade? ... I've lost about 4 pounds, give or take. But I know the first few pounds come off pretty easily, so I'm not going to get all excited and change my weight loss goal over one pound a week.
I haven't "given up" anything yet... for now, it's eating smaller portions, with some substitutions here and there. I'm being a little more conscious..
I told Southpaw I only wanted to weigh myself once a week, so I wouldn't see all the fluctuation... he's having me weigh myself twice a day. I want to flip a table - I thought I lost all my progress at one point.
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Post by Plum on Jan 9, 2020 11:19:52 GMT 1
I'm awful at dieting so can offer no advice, but I'm cheering for you wholeheartedly!
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