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Post by scymrian on Jan 10, 2020 15:42:50 GMT 1
Luna, you're right and SPH is wrong. Weighing yourself twice a day is fucking goofy. Not sorry, SPH.
My Lovely Partner likes to weigh herself every morning, and I tell her she's fucking goofy, but she actually likes to do it and it doesn't mess with her mentally too much, so I don't push her on it. I only weigh myself every week, and even then only so I know where to line up when we line up by weight in my grappling classes - otherwise, I'd drop it to every two weeks. If weighing yourself too frequently is frustrating, absolutely knock that off.
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Post by Southpaw Hare on Jan 12, 2020 8:07:40 GMT 1
Luna, you're right and SPH is wrong. Weighing yourself twice a day is fucking goofy. Not sorry, SPH. My Lovely Partner likes to weigh herself every morning, and I tell her she's fucking goofy, but she actually likes to do it and it doesn't mess with her mentally too much, so I don't push her on it. I only weigh myself every week, and even then only so I know where to line up when we line up by weight in my grappling classes - otherwise, I'd drop it to every two weeks. If weighing yourself too frequently is frustrating, absolutely knock that off. I don't think Luna is as frustrated as you interpreted. I recommend doing it so often because it lets us make a spreadsheet of big data that averages out all the possible random variance from day to day, and from that, a line graph. Looking at the projected estimate lines are way more positively motivating than a few randomly high days are demotivating.
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Post by Southpaw Hare on Jan 13, 2020 19:16:03 GMT 1
So, in the most recent posts I've made, have spoken highly about my job. The praise is still largely deserved, although I figure I should clarify details, present some of the actual criticisms I do have, and explain my goals for the future.
I've definitely hit that sort of intangible checkpoint where the difficulty spikes up. Until recently, I was mostly working on very easy, entry-level stuff regarding COBOL and mainframe stuff. Then rather suddenly, as of a couple of months ago, I was switched to doing ridiculously hard stuff. Most of the difficulty is related to things being super old legacy code. In a lot of cases, it involves code that was literally first written in the 70s, and either hasn't been touched since then, or has been touched a lot (both scenarios are awful for different reasons).
As with other jobs, and in fact even moreso than usual, there are a lot of things that one cannot really ask for help on because no one knows how to do it. It has been explained to me that it's basically an "open secret" that no one really knows what were doing, and we're all just bumbling about and trying to get by. Part of the problem seems to be what is known as The Silver Tsunami is happening, which is basically that all the Baby Boomers are retiring and not transferring the tribal knowledge along very well before they leave. This is an effect occurring in many industries right now, but it is hurting stuff like government mainframe programming among the hardest.
The nice thing about the difficulty spike is that it doesn't seem to be a problem that reflects poorly on me at all. Unlike other places of employment that absolutely will blame you for struggles that aren't your fault, this place honestly believes that if everyone is struggling, then struggling is fine. The day-to-day work can be frustrating sometimes, but at the end of the day, no one is judging you poorly about it.
One particularly frustrating thing that is occurring is that I am being pressured into giving a mini lecture on a topic I barely understand. The topic is one of those things that very few people know how to do, and so I had to piece together how to do it from old documentation and trial-and-error. Then once I "learned" how to do the most basic version of it, I was dubbed an "expert" and asked to pass the knowledge onto everyone else. I understand what is happening here; this is their attempt at fixing this knowledge gap issue by helping people help themselves... but I kinda hate this method of learning. There's little that makes me more uncomfortable than being put on the spot and asked to lead a group on a subject I am not an expert on.
One of the nice things is the flexibility of my future. If I so decide, I don't have to continue working with COBOL and mainframe technology if I don't want to. I am approaching the end of my first year, after which I am totally capable of transferring to a different position within the same rank, or to one in the next rank if also after the relevant exams (which are conveniently also coming up). So, even if I get fed up with my job as-is (and I'm really not compared to some of the other stuff I've been through), I can always change it up substantially while still working for the same organization and keeping or even progressing my career.
The aforementioned promotion exams look a bit silly. They are basically SAT-style standardized tests on high school level math, English etc. Because of that ability for people of a rank to move horizontally, all the tests are super generic and have little to do with anyone's actual specific job. The questions are the sort that are easy (I'm pretty good at high school math and language), but often have subjective aspects where you have to figure out the answer the test writer wants you to pick for arbitrary reasons. I can't imagine they are very effective at actually testing anyone for anything, but I'll play their game regardless.
So, that's basically where I'm at. Things are good, but a little frustrating, positive, mixed with somewhat socially twitchy, with some good future outlook paired with nonsensical bureaucracy.
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Jan 13, 2020 19:25:21 GMT 1
Luna, you're right and SPH is wrong. Weighing yourself twice a day is fucking goofy. Not sorry, SPH. My Lovely Partner likes to weigh herself every morning, and I tell her she's fucking goofy, but she actually likes to do it and it doesn't mess with her mentally too much, so I don't push her on it. I only weigh myself every week, and even then only so I know where to line up when we line up by weight in my grappling classes - otherwise, I'd drop it to every two weeks. If weighing yourself too frequently is frustrating, absolutely knock that off. I don't think Luna is as frustrated as you interpreted. I recommend doing it so often because it lets us make a spreadsheet of big data that averages out all the possible random variance from day to day, and from that, a line graph. Looking at the projected estimate lines are way more positively motivating than a few randomly high days are demotivating. Yeah... I'm not that frustrated, I do tend to exaggerate at times, and Southpaw is aware. Still, when the number on the scale ticks up more than a pound, it does get worrisome. He's all about the data, so I can at least look at the big picture and see... kind of an "at this rate" measurement of my progress.
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Post by Plum on Jan 14, 2020 13:48:04 GMT 1
Dude I feel your pain very acutely. I was originally hired at my current place to work on their legacy databases and faced the exact same problems. These were systems that had been in place for 30+ years, the original coders had long since left and no one really wanted to touch them for fear of contracting ownership. The only saving grace is that if you do survive that trial by fire and actually become proficient on core systems that no one else knows, you become indispensable and are set for life. Granted, you might not want to do such crappy work until you die, but at least you have the option.
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Jan 15, 2020 4:07:31 GMT 1
Back when I was living off an inheritance, I got myself caught up on the latest generation of video game consoles. At the time, the newest thing I had was an Xbox 360, which I had to keep adding stuff to it because it was the base model... so I had to get a bigger hard drive, I had to buy the wireless adapter, etc. First I got the PS3, but then I got the PS4 not long after because I wanted to play PT. I got a Wii U because I wanted to play a few of the games. I got an XBox One because I wanted to play Killer Instinct. While crawling out of debt and all, I had to be thankful I still had all of that.
Now I want a Switch, and at first it was no big deal... sure there were games I wanted to play, but I just told myself I had enough already, I didn't need another console or anything. Now I'm surrounded by Switch owners, and they keep talking about different games on the Switch, and I can't comment or join in the discussions. It got to the point that tonight I almost went to the closest GameStop, but I checked ahead and they didn't have a new Switch in stock with the grey Joy Cons, and that was probably the one thing that kept me from pursuing it further for tonight.
I shouldn't buy it, not if it takes $300+ away from the money I need for the upcoming move, and also distracts from preparing to move... I mean, it's not FOMO, it's that I want to participate, and I could, but I can't while still trying to be responsible for other things I need to deal with.
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Post by Bomber678 on Jan 15, 2020 7:35:46 GMT 1
Just sell your old consoles to fund the switch purchase
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Jan 15, 2020 14:31:35 GMT 1
Just sell your old consoles to fund the switch purchase *gasp* Nooooooooo...
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Jan 18, 2020 18:35:20 GMT 1
To add to my last post... I had sold the SNES and a few games (including Pokemon Stadium for the N64) to buy Final Fantasy X. I don't regret buying FFX, not in the least, but it has been a regret that I sold the SNES.
And then I gave my DS Lite to my boyfriend at the time, because he didn't have a DS and I just bought the DSi. If I had known he was going to pass it off to one of his friends and buy his own DSi, I'd never have done it, because that meant I wasn't getting the DS Lite back for anything.
I mean, I'm not looking to have all the legacy consoles... I never had a GameCube, and I have no reason to acquire one as long as I keep my Wii. But just having the consoles I've owned through the ages, there's a market for classic video games, some of which I haven't played, so I'd be keeping some mom-and-pop shops in business and living their dream.
But anyway...
I was going to post to say it's been about three months already. On the 25th, my stacked offenses at work get swept under the rug, and I''ll be further away from getting fired for disciplinary reasons. I'm not as stressed about it as I was back in October, when I had last been written up because a coworker and I had been talking while he was on a call, but I still want to be careful this coming week while things are still in effect. But sitting in the opposite corner from where I sat before, it's quieter, so things are going better.
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Jan 21, 2020 5:15:24 GMT 1
So I've had a fairly decent day today...
Over the weekend, I've been harboring negative feelings in regards to my relationship... nothing bad about him, just feelings of incompatibility. I'll admit, my mind has gone so far as to wonder if things should end between us, but when that comes to mind, I have so many thoughts about myself and how this is something I've wanted (someone who's a breadwinner, someone who's healthier than me so I have that influence, etc.), and giving that up would be like I stopped challenging myself to improve myself. I wanted to be with someone who was NOT like my exes.. and, I have that... and, really, the problem is that I don't know what to do, like I feel inadequate at times, whereas before, with my exes, I'd feel somewhat superior because I did more than they did and I was better off without them because I didn't need them, there was no challenge, and I could support myself without them. And maybe the time spent with (and the separation from) the ex fiance is still doing a number on me... if I end it, I don't have to deal with my heart getting broken again, I don't have to deal with this move, and I can ride the ego trip of being in control over my destiny again. But that's where I think,... if I end it, I'm no longer challenging myself to move (because I'm not likely to move out of this apartment, it's so close to work and my stuff is already here), and I'm not really facing any of my other fears in regards to this relationship.
But today, as the worst of that started to break, I happened to think of that whole "rewiring your brain" concept, where you try to change your mind to think positively by making yourself think more positive thoughts every time you have a negative thought. I told myself to write them down, to just take out one of my pads of paper while at work and make a list, but I didn't... I just sat there and thought about a few of the good things he's done, like cheering on my weight loss.... and dealing with my overthinking, over-worrying mind... I don't think I've been this neurotic in the past, I feel like wasting three years on a relationship affected my inner peace for relationships, and having the nest pulled away from me (and later, being evicted and being in debt) affected me in other ways I take care of myself in regards to finances and such. So at the moment, I know I have a roof over my head, I know I have a job that can pay enough to meet my needs... and, I'm planning to uproot myself in ways that seem like an improvement, but just like getting in a car crash, my mind is like, "sure it's been 99 percent safe, but remember that one time? This could end badly as well..." So, I have to keep reminding myself that I do have something good, I have something I wanted, and I shouldn't be so quick to give that up or be afraid of things failing.
Oh, and speaking of work...
So I had one of my two monthly surveys tonight... a little over 95, which means the worst I can do on the next one is 75, but I've never gotten less than an 80 so I'm in the clear as far as I can tell. So the supervisor asked if I had any other questions, and I said to her that I wanted to confirm if my write-ups were going to be cleared on Saturday (the 25th, since the last write-up was October 25), or if it's 90 calendar days and not just "same day of the month, three months later" kind of a thing. So she said she would look into that, and looked up my work performance write-ups.... and the last recorded one was September. I was like, "what? No, I was written up October 25, for talking to a coworker while on a call... I didn't know he was on a call, and (other supervisor) saw us and wrote us both up." "Well, maybe it was a judgment call, since you weren't aware, yours didn't get recorded." "Yeah, but this has happened before, where both people got written up even though one was on a call." We went back and forth, but she was like, "maybe it fell through the cracks... don't look a gift horse in the mouth..." I showed her the half sheet of paper, the form that's used for write-ups, complete with the supervisor's notes of what she had witnessed. She jotted down a note about it... Even if it gets entered into the system, which it may not at this point because it was three months ago and the supervisor probably doesn't remember what happened that day... but even if it gets entered into the system... it's still going to become ineffective by Saturday. And my write-up before that was in September, which means I've basically been clear for A WHOLE MONTH... Do you even realize how much I stressed over that? Do you? DO YOU?! Dude, that stressed me out back in October... you have no idea.
Ugh...
You know what probably helped change my mood? I took a bath last night... and then the cat was trying to drink the forbidden human soup... but I think the warm water helped release some tension. The problem is, I hate the bathtub here, it seems 5 inches smaller in length and width compared to bathtubs that I'm used to, and the water goes cold even faster than I'm used to so I always have to run the water that much hotter when I can, and partially drain the tub and add more warm water sooner than usual. Finishing that with a shower prepared me for my day today, especially since that meant I already had a shower and didn't have to worry about the water being turned off (last Monday was NOT fun, for that reason... but I got stuff done, so it's all good), and the extra time meant that by leaving early, I could hit Dunkin to redeem my free drink on the last day I could use it.
So yeah, it was a good day...
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Post by Plum on Jan 21, 2020 14:01:09 GMT 1
Take this with a grain of salt, but it sounds like you're jamming imposter syndrome pretty hard and the classic "Well I wouldn't date me, so why would anyone else". But other people are weird and if someone is into you, you should roll with it
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Jan 29, 2020 6:49:29 GMT 1
Well, a bit of backstory...
That weekend had started with Southpaw and I in a group chat with a couple of his friends. I was doing my usual, posting random pictures that I thought would get a laugh out of someone because I had found some kind of humor in what I contributed. Southpaw and one of his friends had asked why those were funny, then they explained to me what was necessary for something to be considered humorous, and it was a rather collegiate response at that. Then at the end, they were saying, "oh, most of the stuff you share is funny, and I do enjoy most of your puns," but really by that point, some damage was done, and I just bid out for the evening. Later, one of his other friends was reviewing the chat, getting caught up on what was said, and came to my defense (not entirely, but enough so that I didn't feel attacked by anything he said that was in favor of the other two).
Midweek, following that weekend, I took out a pad of paper at work and just wrote down both sides of what was in my head. This, of course, was after I had come out of the miserable feeling I had dealt with following that.
On one side of the paper.... my subconscious alert system: - This is how he really feels, and just saying "most of your stuff is funny" is just trying to recover the situation. - inadequacy... I'm not funny enough, I'm not intelligent enough to understand what is good humor, at least what would be humorous to him. My humor is simple, it's not complex, it's not truly witty. - If he says it's in my head, he's gaslighting me, and is not an ideal person... and if I ignore this, it could be a worse issue down the road.
On the other side of the paper... Overreacting/in my head? - He had a bad day, he was stressed... I didn't think I was having a bad day, but maybe something in me could only deal with so much - He generalized... not all of my stuff is so bad that I needed to be educated about humor - I was posting too many "meh" or otherwise mediocre posts at the time... not the best stuff I've ever posted, just the best I could do at the time
Writing it down like that, even though I was back to feeling better, I could see that both sides weren't equal, that one sounded more factual than the other. And, suffice it to say, picturing a scenario where I'm breaking up with Southpaw, I imagine him asking me, "is that what you really want?" No, that's not what I really want, I don't want to end things with him, but if I thought we weren't all that compatible, that it would be better for the sake of the relationship, then... *sigh*
I had a verbal picture come up on Facebook recently that said something like, "stop blaming your exes for things now." And I thought... "do I?" While I wouldn't entirely credit the ex fiance for my thoughts and behaviors, the fact remains that I blame myself for things. I was too willing to keep the relationship going because the flags weren't red enough for me, and in the end I feel like I wasted time. So, while I'm not so quick to end things because they're not perfect, I do hate that my brain would even go so far as to consider severing ties, and I understand where it comes from.
Well, this past weekend was about two weeks since the last time I had seen Southpaw, and the closer it got to the weekend, the more it felt like I needed to see him again, that I needed to remember why I'm not willing to give up yet. And the closer it got to the weekend, the less it said there would be freezing rain for my specific area, in fact it seemed like the weather would be less bad. Friday I skipped out of work early because people were being petty and juvenile.. if I explain it, I would sound equally juvenile, perhaps, but also explain why it was too much to have to deal with. So I topped off the gas tank (literally, $5 worth of gas), and went to the bank to get quarters to do laundry. I figured I'd be all set to go the next morning, that all I'd have to do is get in the car and hit the highway.. after getting coffee, naturally. So, I woke up and it was raining. I went to the kitchen window, and the "rain" was bouncing off the overhang, it was little pieces of ice. Well... maybe I'd take a shower, things will warm up, clear up, whatever... it will be better. Nope, it started to snow, and the snow was sticking, so my thoughts were, "whatever was water before is going to be ice now."
I canceled the trip. I didn't want to... in my head, I thought, "I could still make the drive and be fine... but... whoever saw what the weather was like would think I was crazy for considering it. And what if something did happen? Southpaw would be upset or something if something happened to me. But... if I stay, then I don't get to see him at all..." It was a really hard decision to make... I tried putting the decision in his hands, but he put it back into mine. It was my choice whether to go or not, and I was going to be responsible for whatever happened, either way. So, I just figured it would be smarter if I stayed home.
I got settled in.. cooked lunch... the whole deal. Did not finish getting ready to leave, did not care, so there were a few things I would have put in the laundry basket but I left them where they were. It was around 4 when I started to stream Tropico 5. I'd have streamed anything for grins and giggles, but declaring a snow day and playing an island sim game was especially funny to me. It took me a few minutes to remind myself how to build anything, but eventually I was putting down roads and tenements for all my shack-dwellers. Then it was around 4:30 or so when Southpaw asked if the weather was any better. Well... it kinda was? I mean, it wasn't precipitating, at least not noticeably. But I still had this fear of losing traction somehow... like I'd either lose it while driving, or I'd slide down the stairs while leaving the apartment, or I'd slip and fall in the driveway and hit my head... anything... falling was a definite possibility. There was no way I could make this trip without something like that happening.
But... I weighed the decision in my mind as to whether or not to go... it was getting late, and it would be after 7 pm by the time I got there... we'd have hardly any time together that night, and Sunday always feels like a reminder that I'll be leaving later that day.. was it really worth going, if only for a shortened stay?
I turned off the Playstation...
I got dressed, t-shirt and jeans (might as well go with my "bad influence" shirt)...
I made sure my overnight bag had the essentials in it... somehow forgot to check where my lounge pants were (hint: they were in the laundry)
...grabbed the laundry basket...
...bundled up... headed out the door...
.. salted the darned steps, because there was no way I was going a** over teakettle...
...eased my way down the steps... stepped off the concrete pathway into the front yard to head for the driveway and the rear parking area... slid and fell on the snowy, muddy lawn. Well, I was holding the laundry basket at both sides, so really it looked like I was proposing marriage to my dirty clothes as one foot was still on the ground and my knee had hit the soft ground. I made it that far, so there was no giving up just yet. I used the basket to get myself back on my feet, then I set the basket by the driveway and walked without it to the car.
Got in the car and backed it out of my parking spot... where's my phone? I knew I had it in my pocket, but the pockets in this particular pair of jeans are more shallow than the pockets of the jeans I wear to work, and the phone had fallen out - you guessed it - right where I had fallen. it was actually sticking upright in a patch of snow. I noticed I had a missed call from Southpaw about 3 minutes prior.. I had a message asking how things were, because the whole time I was getting ready to leave, I had gone quiet. He asked if I was okay, and I said, "nothing that can't be fixed by complaining," referring to my fall, as I'd likely complain about it happening yet be laughing at myself for the occurrence. Then he asked what had happened, to which I said I'd tell him in a few, with the intention being that I'd tell him in a couple hours. "Okay. I was worried that you actually did go outside and fall or something, like you said might happen." (direct quote from him) and I repeated, "Like falling? Yeah..." (to be fair, I had read it quickly *coughwhiledrivingcough*).
"Would you like to talk with voice?" me: "Hold on..."
Fifteen minutes later... "You're back?" (I had shown as active in Skype) Me: "Not quite..."
At that point, he called me... and, I could tell he was concerned, which was foolish of me for dragging things out to begin with. I thought he was going to start streaming Sam and Max at 5, like he said he would, and I just figured I'd listen to the audio for it while driving, and then show up unannounced on his doorstep. So, I took the call... played coy for as long as I could... "Yeah... when I said 'hold on,' I had just gotten on the thruway."
There was a pause... "wait... what?" Cue laughter from me, as I derailed his train of thought and put it on another railway. I probably had another hour and a half to go around that time, all of which was rainy driving. But I avoided talking to him or checking my phone while dealing with the worst of the traffic. In the end, I ended up on his doorstep, unscathed, but a little more expected than what I was stupidly going for. Who am I kidding? I still managed to surprise him a bit, and still gave him notice that I was coming so he could expect to see me.
When I got there, he was thawing steak, but it had barely thawed, so he put it back into the fridge and made rice with vegetables with a honey lemon sauce, and mixed in almond slices for protein. I helped! It wasn't the first time he had made it, but this time I posted a picture of it on Instagram and shared that to Facebook, where about five or six of my friends liked it. It was one of many moments that felt like a flash of light had gone off, when I just felt like I was enjoying being with him. Steak and eggs with coffee the next morning was another such moment... listening to him whistle while cooking or doing chores... really, I've been enjoying these moments.
But then, he started a conversation about the last post... and, the easiest thing for me to do was to stare above his closet, where the wall meets the ceiling... there's nothing interesting about that spot, it was just undistracting enough to focus my thoughts so they didn't become word vomit. I explained where I was coming from... what I was thinking and why... I mentioned the "notes," if you will, that I made while at work... and, we just agreed that how things were said weren't the best way to say them, or at the right time, or what have you. I don't blame him, though, for my feelings... I know that's on me, though it wasn't a choice on my part. But we do get along really well, and we do often share a sense of humor that allows us to set up jokes based on what the other had said.
And, to be honest, there's times when we kind of have one mind. Like, he knew what moment from a past GDQ I was about to mention, when I hadn't even given any context for it other than to say it was a previous GDQ... and, we both wore brown t-shirts on Saturday, which is a feat for me since I have only 2 or 3 brown shirts out of over 100 different shirts, most of which are black (when ordering shirts, I sometimes like the black shirt with the selected design over what the website shows for the demo of the colored shirt... you can never go wrong with black). So... there is something there between us, and I'm not to willing to let it go just yet.
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Post by Plum on Jan 29, 2020 13:57:40 GMT 1
I got a bit distracted part way through when I had to go and look up what lounge pants were. They're pyjamas Do Americans not use that word? I didn't really think it was a British word (on account of it not actually being an English word) but maybe it is :/ My life is a bit quiet at the moment, no trips on the horizon or events going on. Pizza and cocktails with my sister and some girlfriends on Friday is something to look forward to though
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Jan 29, 2020 17:16:30 GMT 1
I got a bit distracted part way through when I had to go and look up what lounge pants were. They're pyjamas Do Americans not use that word? I didn't really think it was a British word (on account of it not actually being an English word) but maybe it is :/ Our spelling for it is "pajamas," but yes, pajama pants. I hate referring to them as such, because I don't like the feeling of sleeping with pants on (or socks), so I typically just wear them around at home when pants are necessary but don't have to be presentable. At least, that's my opinion... I don't fall into the category of people who seem to believe that pajama pants are acceptable attire for Walmart, but then again I suppose Walmart really doesn't have a dress code. Still, I'm more comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans when I make Walmart runs.
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Feb 3, 2020 6:19:39 GMT 1
I had a dream this morning that I was a bridesmaid at a wedding... but I missed the wedding, I was running around at the reception in a pink bridesmaid dress and felt out of place. I saw people gathered for the garter toss, but not the bouquet toss which I would have participated in.
I woke up, but then went back to sleep and had a dream about some suburban street and an apartment, but nothing really stood out. I don't know... I can't really figure out the importance of either dream.
I had an interview on Friday, so I took the day off from work. I feel really confident about things, but I have yet to hear the decision.
Thought I got my PS Vita in working order... I actually decided to look up what error codes I had, and found they were associated with the memory card. Took it out, put it back in... rebuilt the database... rebuilt the database again... each time, I tried downloading a few of the games I had again, and they worked fine at first, but then I'd get the error codes again. And after thinking that it wasn't going to get screwed up again this quickly, I bought a new game cartridge. I might see if I can do a return on that. Honestly, though... it's getting to be more of a headache than anything, and while I know I said I wouldn't sell the gaming devices I have to put towards a Switch, I'm leaning in that direction. It sucks that I'll be losing the ability to play certain games, like I bought the device to play FFX/X-2 on the go, even though I've beat both games... but, I can deal with that. And anyway, aren't they putting X/X-2 on the Switch? Hopefully it'll share the cloudsave with the PS3/PS4 versions, because then I will have a portable device that I could play it on... but alas, I already have a mental stack of games I want to play on Switch, and Southpaw keeps saying, "maybe you should try them on someone else's Switch, see if you like them first," but he's reluctant to have it be his Switch that I borrow... eh, it's not like I'm going to buy my entire mental wish list all at once.
But, that's life right now.
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Post by Plum on Feb 3, 2020 12:18:15 GMT 1
I lent my switch to my bf so that he could play Fire Emblem Three Houses on it. Two hundred hours later I had to steal it back. SPH is wise, JRPG players don't understand time in the same way as the rest of us...
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Post by Southpaw Hare on Feb 3, 2020 15:00:26 GMT 1
Here is a post from me from maybe about 2.5 years ago: Hi all! It's been a while since I've actually posted a legitimate post about important stuff going on in my life, so I figured I'd do that. The reason I've been procrastinating on doing that is because, well... it's not the best. It's not terrible, but... yeah. So, I've spoken at length about my various jobs, which have been changing somewhat frequently over the last 2.5 years. There was that big move I made to Missouri to try out an exciting new job there (which didn't work out), and a temporary job that brought me back home to Upstate New York (which was just that: temporary. Also somewhat disappointing). Now, I have a new job, which I've been at for approaching 3 months now. I was really excited when I was interviewing for it, and I was happy when I got it. But frankly... it's bad. Like, really bad. I will now describe to you how bad it is, and I will have difficulty making you believe that I am not using hyperbole. Please be assured that I am using the word "literally" in the traditionally accurate sense in this post. To get the overarching issue out of the way first... this is not a software company. I've been hired as a software developer, but the company is really a manufacturing company (they make swimming pools), and the programming part is just a small IT department of no more than a dozen people. The company seems wildly successful in terms of profits, but that is mainly from its primary business; its sales depend relatively little on the software it makes, which is only used internally. From here, you'll find that all of the consequences of this fall into place as you'd expect. There are no standards, corners are cut on everything, there's wide inconsistency in the skill levels and competencies of the workers, and everything is done in the absolute fastest, most immediate way possible with almost no long-term planning. The code base is an absolute joke - literally the worst I've ever seen, and the worst that some of my older programmer friends have even ever heard of. Files are full of every amateur mistake you're ever taught to avoid as a programmer - copy-paste blocks, hard-coded values, inconsistent formatting, variable and method names that are confusing or flat out lying, minimal error catching, no readability, massive redundancy, incomprehensible coupling between unrelated things, and countless other issues. Forget unit tests, there's not even regular testing of any real sort - we heavily rely on just letting our users test our software and tell us when it breaks. And keep in mind, this isn't just occasional frustrations that pop up every now and then, or even a few times a day - this is, literally, all day, every day. I mean it - I don't think I've opened a single pre-existing file that hasn't made me go, "uggghhhhh" at at least one of these things immediately, and with more to follow. This also has the issue that me GE job had, but much, much worse. Essentially, there is One Guy who Knows Everything in terms of how this unholy mess of spaghetti code works. He is the one assigned to train me and help me work through problems, but unfortunately, he is unbelievably busy. He's apparently the guy that they throw all the important stuff on, bottle-necking all production through him. He's usually willing to help me, but getting more than an hour with him per day is very difficult, and his help is essential for virtually everything I do. I certainly try to be self-sufficient, but inevitably, my work becomes blocked by some bit of tribal knowledge or code base wizardry that is simply impossible without being told exactly how it works by someone who Knows. In addition to that, it can be difficult to even get work to do in some cases, since the people who give out that (that guy and a couple others) are often all busy all together. So, my job has involved a lot of sitting around and doing nothing. Literally. Just sitting at my desk, either blocked on work or with no work, browsing the Internet idly. And this is not for lack of trying to rectify this issue, believe me! I do more than my due diligence in trying to locate people physically, locate them on messengers, asking for work, and trying to accomplish impossible things on my own anyway. Often, though, this is all futile. The really awkward part, however, is that it has been made crystal clear to me that this is expected. I was literally warned on my first day by Knows Stuff Guy that this would happen - that the "things start off slow", and that I might find myself sitting idly. It was explained that this always happens, and it's just natural. I was pre-emptively comforted, being told that it's okay if this happens, and that it doesn't reflect poorly on me. I was told that "it can take two years to start being a productive member of the team" - a figure which sounds absurdly high, even for the chosen sentiment of "don't worry if it takes a while to get good". They know this is happening - and this is normal. And yet, it bothers me anyway. I don't like wasting time. It makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. I feels like, at any moment, they could just "change their minds" and decide that they're not okay with my behavior after all, and they'd have all the reason they need to punish me. It's a very stressful culture. Now, to be fair, this issue has been getting better over these last 12 weeks or so, albeit very slowly. I'm still not working at the level I'd expect to have been working at by week 2 at any other place, but it's gradually improving. I'm getting slightly more time with Knows Stuff Guy, and, with a half-hour here and an hour there, I am gaining some Impossible Knowledge of things. It's just veeeeeeery slow and painful. And of course, the more actual work I do, the more I run into the previously-mentioned aggravations of Everything Being Terrible. So, there are a handful of plus sides to this job. For starters, it pays very well. This seems to be a consistent thing among otherwise vastly variable jobs that I've held. Whether it's hard or easy, interesting or boring, they all pay about equally good money, and all the money I need. On the one hand, you can see this as a reason to stay - money is good! But on the other, it's a reason to leave - the next job will pay just as much, but everything else will be better! The other main benefit, if you can see it as such, is job security. Apparently, they almost never fire people. In fact, they just fired one person, who was the first in a long time, they took a while to do so, and this person was absolute bottom of the barrel material. Literally, they were mentally handicapped, and literally, they didn't know any programming at all. Literally. They finally got rid of them after months of them, literally, not being able to grasp how to write a basic FOR loop. Literally. So, that's the bar of standards we're looking at here. So, if I'm being honest, I'm not happy here. My plan is to wait until I've been there for 6 months, and then start aggressively looking elsewhere. The recruiter who got me this job is a great guy, and has also placed several of my friends recently as well, so I'll use him again despite this poor placement. I'm absolutely not staying here. The really awkward emotional issue I've been having with all this job switching is really understanding where I am and when I'm going in life right now. It feels strange, because I feel like I'm failing at my career, not staying at any one job, and either doing poorly at the job or choosing a job that is poor. Yet on the other hand, I feel like I'm also succeeding! I'm doing very well for myself in terms of money, which has only been going up, and I keep increasing in the vague measurements of skill, title, and professional respect. Each new job somehow feels like progress for at least my self, if not in any tangible way. It's like I'm Failing Forward or something. Through the act of a million failures, I somehow am winning. It intuitively makes no sense, but I guess this can be a way that Real Life works? Well, that's it for now. Thanks for listening guys. So, I think it's worth pointing out that the company that Luna interviewed will at is, in fact, the swimming pool company that I worked at, hated, and quit from a few years ago. It was one of my really bad jobs, about to bad jobs ago. Now, Luna knows this. We've discussed this fact at length, and we've come to the conclusion that... it's probably fine. We sincerely believe that most of my issues with the company stemmed from my specific position in the IT Department, which was a super bootleg operation that tried to pretend they were a software development shop when they were really just a crappy IT Department attached to a pool manufacturing plant and pool-selling call center. It is probably true that the call center roles at the company are actually pretty okay? Maybe? With a question mark? I had a physical reaction in my gut when she first mentioned the name of the company. But at this point, I actually hope she gets the job and just has a better time than I did. I think there's potential for that.
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Luna
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Posts: 109
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Post by Luna on Feb 4, 2020 4:11:49 GMT 1
Also, he let me eat a cannoli while we were at games club on Saturday, and I gained three pounds. Never mind that somehow I am responsible for the weight gain, including the lack of self control for eating the cannoli, though I haven't changed anything or binged on bad food so this is a bit of an anomaly.
It was delicious, though!
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Luna
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Posts: 109
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Post by Luna on Feb 12, 2020 5:39:37 GMT 1
Ugh... I have so much to do, and I only have about a week to do it in, once you take out this weekend when I'll be in Albany for Valentine's Day and such... I have much to pack, and I barely know where to begin.
I think I just want to go to sleep now, recharge myself from today, and go from there...
Southpaw, want to fill in the gaps? I know it's my news and all, but I think you're as excited as I am!
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Post by Southpaw Hare on Feb 12, 2020 5:57:23 GMT 1
Ugh... I have so much to do, and I only have about a week to do it in, once you take out this weekend when I'll be in Albany for Valentine's Day and such... I have much to pack, and I barely know where to begin. I think I just want to go to sleep now, recharge myself from today, and go from there... Southpaw, want to fill in the gaps? I know it's my news and all, but I think you're as excited as I am! Hey everyone! She got the job! She's going to be working at the pool place as a call center person, and she's going to be moving to the Albany area, and into an apartment very near me - possibly in the same community. We'll still be living in separate places, but we'll be within easy access to each other at will!
The moving process is going to probably be a small nightmare. She starts two weeks from yesterday, so we have less than two weeks to make this happen. We need to get her the apartment, move all her big furniture and essentials cross-state, and get her nice and set up and ready to work, all largely over the two weekends we have. Also, one of those weekends is Valentine's Day.
We have some help with the process. I have a friend coming with me all the way to Syracuse and back in order to do the U-Haul process. He's a physical laborer, so he's easily going to double the effectiveness of both Luna and I combined.
So, yeah. Exciting! Also, exhausting! Here goes nothing!
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Luna
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Post by Luna on Feb 20, 2020 5:36:10 GMT 1
Well, tomorrow is my penultimate day as operator 8000, after which the number will be tossed into the available pool of operator numbers that get assigned to people.
It's also the Perfect Attendance Luncheon tomorrow, which is... ironic? Because I've been racking up attendance issues left and right just trying to get the job and apartment.
Thankfully, though, while I had already given away 3 hours of my shift last week to one person, someone else came through at the last moment and grabbed the rest of my shift, so I was able to get Friday off without penalty.
And, I'm approved for the apartment, which is great... but my next trick will be getting the lease paperwork signed and returned by the weekend...
I'm simultaneously stressed and pumped, I feel like I can do this but then I wonder how...
AND THIS WEATHER OMG I SWEAR... It was in the 40s yesterday, for just the one day, and now it's snowing again, and everything is already icy... but it's going to be sunny over the weekend, and then start to go back into the 40s on Sunday? It's really going to make me appreciate that the new place has better heating than here, but first I have to survive these last few days here.
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Post by Plum on Feb 20, 2020 11:22:05 GMT 1
Eek congratulations on such exciting life changes!
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Luna
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Posts: 109
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Post by Luna on Mar 1, 2020 18:05:25 GMT 1
Well, I've been in Albany for the past week.... still haven't unpacked everything, but for what it's worth, we just finished packing the rest of it yesterday and bringing it here.
I've been rather stranded as well. We left my car in Syracuse! While it's a debatably short walk to Southpaw's place, it's also been rather cold, plus I have to cross through traffic. So I've waited for him to get out of work and stop by to pick me up. Tuesday, he picked me up, took me to his place for dinner, came back to assemble a bookshelf, then we went back to his place to hang out some more, and so he was driving the two or three minutes each way. Otherwise, it's been that he picks me up for dinner and to hang out, then brings me back for the night.
So after spending a week here, I feel like my previous bedroom/living room is actually smaller than my current bedroom, but maybe not by much. But then, I also have a separate living room... and a dining area... and a kitchen, with a dishwasher and actual counter space! And the apartment is half-closet, which I have barely filled except for maybe where my everyday clothes are. And I'm pretty much underground, which is fun, because my bedroom window is at ground level (which the cat loves.. he got excited today when a squirrel was near the window), and my living room window (and yes, there is a window) is underground. How can it be underground? There is a gap for the air conditioning vent, so there's a wall about a foot away from the window that's mostly covered by a walkway, I presume, at the top of it. So while I have no natural light coming into my living room area, I also have a ton of privacy. And despite the bedroom having a view of the outside, which includes a decorative street lamp, the room goes pitch black when I turn out the lights, even when I have the blinds down only halfway. The previous place was just off a main road in the outskirts of the city, and the lights from the nearby businesses were enough to see my way in the dark before my eyes had a chance to adjust to having turned off the lights.
But like I said to Southpaw, I wasn't about to move out because it was so close to where I worked. And I wasn't about to change my job because it was so close to where I lived. Not counting the effort it would take to move, I was stuck in a loop where I wasn't about to change anything because it was fine, and I would deal with any shortcomings of the apartment because they weren't so bad to me. But if either of us had less to lose by moving, it was me. His parents are still alive and live near here, his friends are here, he loves the job he has here... my friends are scattered, my parents are deceased, I already felt like my job was not the end-all-be all of my existence... if anything, my life probably needed to be shaken up more than anything.
So yeah, I did manage to push off my start date at the new job by a week, which was good. I've spent this past week slowly unpacking the things that were here. It might have been a bit insane to move in a weekend and then start at work the following Monday... this has been a bit of a vacation, waking when I want, doing things at my pace, the only phone calls being important ones that I have to make for myself.
But... in all the commotion, with everything going on and doing everything I needed to do to make this happen... I looked at my revised start date like it was just another date, like it was just the first Monday in March.. I'm starting a new job in a new month, regardless of the fact that it's my birth month. No, that's not the significance.... I'm starting my new job on the anniversary of my Mom's passing. It doesn't tarnish anything, I don't feel too bad for forgetting, and I suppose it could be argued that I should focus more on happier anniversaries like her birthday and my parents' anniversary anyway even though it's still a reminder of those I've lost. Ah well... think of it this way, my life changed quite a bit on that March 2nd, and this March 2nd isn't all that different. And spring is coming, it's a time for new beginnings and all of that.
Well, until next weekend, this is going to be my last full day of being able to unpack and deal with my stuff, so I better get to it!
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Post by Plum on Mar 2, 2020 16:33:53 GMT 1
But like I said to Southpaw, I wasn't about to move out because it was so close to where I worked. And I wasn't about to change my job because it was so close to where I lived. Not counting the effort it would take to move, I was stuck in a loop where I wasn't about to change anything because it was fine, and I would deal with any shortcomings of the apartment because they weren't so bad to me.
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Post by Plum on Mar 2, 2020 16:35:42 GMT 1
(and congrats again! Moving is scary and changing jobs is terrifying but you're awesome and you'll ace your new job!)
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Luna
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Posts: 109
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Post by Luna on Mar 9, 2020 4:20:06 GMT 1
I posted this to my Facebook earlier today, but it bears repeating... it really does... (names edited, just 'cause...)
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What a morning I've had already...
So while I was considering what to eat this morning, I settled on making rice in the rice cooker. After starting it up, I figured I'd do some laundry.
Now, the laundry room is right next door, just like the trash room was right next door to my apartment in NJ. Being so close, but knowing it's still possible to run into people, I put on my robe over my nightgown and slid into a pair of slippers that I've worn outside a time or two due to having a thicker sole. I just wanted something to slide my feet into..
Anyway, so I went to the linen closet, grabbed my laundry sauce and just enough quarters for what I'd need, took my laundry out of the apartment, left the door slightly ajar so I could get back in but the cat would have to paw at it to get out... and then I was getting all set up to start my laundry when I heard a bang from the entry area. I walked out towards the door and saw that my apartment door had been closed, and from the other side I heard the cat wailing for love and attention.
I didn't start my laundry. Maybe I should have, but I had more important things. Let's see here... I didn't grab my keys to the apartment, so they were locked into the apartment. I didn't put my phone in my pocket, because I didn't want to be connected to it or distracted by it at any given moment, so that was in the apartment. That left me with only two options... one, wait all day in the hopes that (Southpaw) would grace me with his presence, or two, start walking.
So I, in my robe and slippers and nightgown (and underwear, of course), left the apartment building, headed to the main road, then climbed the hill to get to (Southpaw's) place.
I pressed the buzzer... and waited. A minute later, I'm buzzed in, but the person who answered the door didn't stick their head out to see who was there. So I descended the steps and entered the apartment to see that I was buzzed in by his roommate B. I went to (Southpaw's) bedroom and knocked on the door... I think all of this woke him up, because he hadn't started his day yet. I explained my situation, making light of the fact that I just walked a main road in broad daylight wearing a robe and slippers. He slowly became more cognizant as he got dressed, and offered me a coffee while I waited. Then we got in his car and he drove me back here and unlocked my door.
Yesterday I learned there's a town near here called Halfmoon, which is also near Crescent. Although I expressed dismay after knowing I could have moved to Halfmoon, NY, I'm pretty thankful that I live across the street from my boyfriend, and I feel like I made a good decision by giving him a set of keys to the apartment.
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Post by Plum on Mar 9, 2020 11:54:49 GMT 1
Ha that's funny (mostly because it was a happy ending, not an expensive locksmith ending). I'm super paranoid about not walking through my front door unless I'm carrying my keys (even if it's as simple as taking out some rubbish), so I've developed the habit of only opening my front door with the hand that is also holding the keys. If I go to open my door without keys in my hand it now feels weird. Of course, my spare keys are about ten miles away which is not a walk that I'm particularly keen to do Maybe I should get a set cut for a neighbour, but since my neighbours also rent they tend to come and go. Perhaps I should buy a fake rock to put in the garden with a spare.
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Post by Plum on Mar 13, 2020 16:55:30 GMT 1
So the world is pretty crazy right now huh? Is anyone self isolating after a holiday or contact with a sick person? Here in the UK our government has shown its typical strong leadership and buried its head in the sand (seriously - after a day of emergency meetings, the best they could manage was "Don't go on cruises if you're old and stay home if you're sick"). Public transport is quieter but otherwise things seem to be mostly continuing as before - large events are still running, though at least some sports organisations have been more pro-active and started cancelling games.
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Post by Southpaw Hare on Mar 13, 2020 18:08:58 GMT 1
So the world is pretty crazy right now huh? Is anyone self isolating after a holiday or contact with a sick person? Here in the UK our government has shown its typical strong leadership and buried its head in the sand (seriously - after a day of emergency meetings, the best they could manage was "Don't go on cruises if you're old and stay home if you're sick"). Public transport is quieter but otherwise things seem to be mostly continuing as before - large events are still running, though at least some sports organisations have been more pro-active and started cancelling games. Things are getting pretty intense here in Albany, New York. We have some recently confirmed cases is Albany itself, as well as in nearby surrounding cities like Clifton Park and Guilderland. I think it's only a matter of days before my city is overrun. I'm not panicking, but I'm actively concerned. Our governor, Andrew Cuomo, is one of the more active and outspoken politicians in terms of taking the threat seriously, so he's been shutting stuff down left and right. It's expected that he'll be advising state workers like myself to work from home starting soon. He has been directly opposed to President Trump, who has been trying to downplay the threat and sweep it under the rug, which is super detached from reality. I didn't need another reason to listen to Cuomo over Trump, since Cuomo is technically my boss now, but I've definitely grown to respect him personally as well. I'm prepared to catch this disease and live through it, but I know a number of people who are much more vulnerable to complications, not the least of which is my father. As a 67-year-old man whose health is so poor that he was literally moments away from death at one point last year, saved only by timely intervention from modern medical science, I don't favor his odds if he catches this thing. I know other people who have various immune system deficiency issues, too. I think the frightening truth here is that there is a very real possibility that people I know, at least tangentially in passing, if not moreso, might die from this situation. I don't want to overreact, but I think that is a sane and sober understanding of my environment right now. We have to do all we can to try to delay the spread and buy time until the disease can be better fought with science. Stay safe, everyone. Be prepared and be smart.
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Post by Plum on Mar 14, 2020 12:45:56 GMT 1
Yeah, my parents are in their 70s so I'm not worried for myself but I'm terrified for them Especially as I catch a busy commuter train, so I'm avoiding them entirely at the moment just as a precaution
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